Fear & Anxiety

i don't know what fear feels like for you, but this is how it sometimes feels for me. My fear and worry begin to manifest into fits of anxiety.

I fear that I won't be enough, that I'm not enough. I fear that I'm not doing enough, not being everything I could be. I fear that I'm not giving enough, yet that I'm revealing too much of me. I fear that I'm juggling too many roles and that I won't be able to devote myself fully to the ones that I really need, to the ones that really need me. I fear that I won't find my place, I won't be able to settle in to joy and peace. I fear that I'll be so busy, I'll fall away from God and I won't be able to hear him calling.

today, as I wrestled with these fears that have found their places within me, I felt God's whisper begin to unravel and unclench that restless energy.

He reminded me that I'm exactly where He placed me. The things that I thought would certainly go one way went some other, and things that I never thought would pan out occured miraculously.

As my spirit sank into this repeated revelation, another thought came over me. Simply:

"Trust in me."

How many times in scripture does God cue us to fear nothing, to be anxious for nothing, and to depend not on our own strength but on His limitless power?

Yet... how often do I find myself struggling to stay above the waters in my own strength, frantic and breathless and weary, when He has already held out His hand and promised to carry me?

Why is is it so hard for us to let go of the notion that we are in control and that it's up to us to keep things moving along contentedly? Why is it such a challenge to always remember that we are fully dependent on a reliable God, the rock of all ages?

As these questions swarmed through my Spirit, this song came on and a tiny sprout of new strength sprang up from a well deep within me.

I see Your fingerprints
The work of Your hands
It's all in Your hands

I see the evidence
Leaving nothing to chance
The world's in Your hands
​
So I rest in Your promises
Now I am sure of this
I'm Yours

Let the waters rise
I will stand as the oceans roar
Let the earth shake beneath me
Let the mountains fall
You are God over the storm
And I am Yours

I hear the voice of love
Calling me home
To where I belong
It cripples every fear
And the ones who will kneel
Walk away healed

So I rest in Your promises
Now I am sure of this
I'm Yours
No power is strong enough
To separate me from Your love
I'm Yours

So let the waters rise
I will stand as the oceans roar
Let the earth shake beneath me
Let the mountains fall
You are God over the storm
And I am Yours

Even the thunder and the wind obey
At the command of my Father, Father
I set my feet upon Your mighty name
So let the rain fall harder, harder
So take my everything, my flesh and blood
I'll lay me down on the altar, altar
I am forever covered in Your love
So let the rain fall hard
So let the waters rise
I will stand as the oceans roar
Let the earth shake beneath me
Let the mountains fall
You are God over the storm
And I am Yours
Let the waters rise
I will stand as the oceans roar
Let the earth shake beneath me
Let the mountains fall
You are God over the storm
And I am Yours
You are God over the storm
And I am Yours
​-Lauren Daigle "I Am Yours"