Trials, Conviction, and Disposition

I was en route home on one of the 700 mile drives I've been partaking in quite often lately (it's complicated), listening to my "Worship" playlist, and praying that the last two hours of my drive would be a time of fellowship and communion. My toddler had just fallen to sleep in his comfy car seat in the back, yet a lot was weighing on my heart and I knew I needed to bring it to God.

So, Bethel Music's "For the Cross" streamed from the speakers and before I knew it, hot spiritual tears were streaming down my cheeks. (You all know the kind I'm talking about, right?)

​My heart was laden with conviction. In that moment, I realized that in the midst of the recent trials I'd been walking through, I'd been letting fear, not faith, reign in my heart. The result? I'd been taking out my fears, frustration, and self-pity on the people who love me most.

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This is the lesson the Spirit brought to the attention of my heart:

Just because you're going through something hard doesn't make it okay to sin in your attitudes towards others, to let bitterness take root in your heart, or to let anger reign your disposition.

Just because something doesn't seem fair or just doesn't make it okay to live in a place of ingratitude.  

No matter what, sin starts in the heart. If you let the ways you've been "wronged" in life pile up in your heart without the cleansing key of forgiveness, that hurt will flow out of you and into the lives of people around you. After all, it's hurt people who hurt people.

And yet, Jesus was tried in every way and was without sin.
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"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in every way as we are, yet without sin."
​Hebrews 4:15

Surely as he carried his cross to Calvary, he felt he was undeserving of what awaited him there. He did everything right, and still, life didn't play out exactly as he may have pined for in that moment, in his humanity.

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No matter how much the world has wronged you, know that Jesus has made it right. It might not look that way today or tomorrow; it might not look that way next year. But one day when we stand before our Heavenly Father at his throne, we will answer not to what happened to us in life, but how we handled it. Not for the trials we were faced with, but how we treated others in the midst of our walking through those storms.

We can rest assured now even in our earthly affliction because when we finally find our homes, we'll be clothed in robes as white as snow, and we will see justice prevail as we dance in the presence of the Victor forever. 

No matter what we face in this life, when we let love and forgiveness dwell in our spirits, we will be victorious - because love always wins.